Saturday, November 04, 2006

sh"IT" Industry - how 'sh' came to IT?

You ask a layman where the technology jobs are and his reply will be “India”. But if you ask me, I would rather say “Down the Drains …” This is my opinion of the IT industry – Straight from My Gut … (thank you Mr. Jack Welch).

Sure, IT has brought in a lot of light to India but just as every rose has its thorn, the IT industry has a Dark side.

A company can be categorized as either a “Product” based or a “Service” based. You have “Work Security” in one and “Job Security” in the other. When working with a product based company, rest assured you will always have your plate full, something even more than what you can handle. Every ounce of your talented will be squeezed. Analogically speaking, you are the sugarcane and you will repeatedly go through the rollers, with lime and ginger as motivation and incentives. These companies will take the extremes of offering you the “Best in the Industry” package to the best “Severance” package. Little do they tell you which industry they are referring to when they say “Best in the Industry”. For those in doubt they are referring to the industry of “Slavery”. The severance package will be offered under conditions of Acquisitions, Mergers or simply – “the project has come to a closure - Sayonara”. But you have nothing to worry. Work with a service based company and you will have a 40-60 ratio of work to leisure. This comes with a bonus, Job Security. These companies are messiahs to the “impotents” and “incompetents” your leaders and managers basically. Imagine a company having its presence in Tahiti or some where in the Caribbean or even Goa. Your onsite assignments will on the beach with “Cocktails and Skin” … a voluntary retirement scheme.

You have often heard the term “Benched” … this is a requirement for all CMMI Level 5 companies. Companies like Infosys and Satyam have been on a rampage with recruitments because they want to hold on to their Level 5 certificate. How are they related? Well, one of the criteria of this certification says: you got to have a work force showing anticipation and readiness for work. The more you recruit, the more anticipation you show, the more will the “stock” be traded. While the recruited, get paid to indulge in a little Solitaire and as the new fads are: Sudoku and Blogging. For the record “I am not on BENCH” … I just don’t have work.

Ever heard of “Body Shopping”? This is when you are subcontracted. You are working for service based company and you are asked to work for a product based company. The work will be to clean the toilet after some one just pooped in and didn’t flush, put in the technological jargon you are asked to do Black Box Testing. Your incentive for doing this is a daily allowance of 100 to 300 Rs. and a high speed internet connection – for posting your resumes.

We have the MNC, the feel good factor. All “MNCs” start of as “R&Ds”, IBM did, Intel did. They initiate the design of some revolutionary product and just when its time to hit the market, they change their R&D centers to “Indian Offshore Development Centre”. IBM changed to IBM India. This way the tax on software export is rescinded. As the saying went in our college, the “R&D” has been reduced to “R A & D” or “R A N D” or just “WHORE”. Not to feel bad, there is an incentive here to … the engineers in the west get “Bangalored”. What’s “Banglored”? Type “banglored” as the search string in Google and the first result is:

“The US slang term 'Bangalored' refers to workers laid off because their jobs have moved to India.”

AMEN TO THAT

The end is the beginning is the end. The end of software jobs in the west is the beginning of those in India, but not for long, because this beginning will soon coin a new slang “China-ed”. This is where the Indian professionals get fired because his work has been moved to the Chinese. The Chinese are cheap, just like in their flesh trade and their quality is not Six but Seven Sigma … beat that Mr. Jack Welch.

What can we do? … we can only hold on to your “Swadeshi Tri-colored Knickers” to prevent the “Communist Bug” from getting up into our asses.

How does that feel !