Holiday Bollywood Quiz

Note: I am not a diehard Bollywood fan but I will take the credit for having an acute power of observation.

1. Who would you see playing the father of a talented but discriminated or suppressed sports person in a sport themed movie? 

Anupam Kher

1. Breaking Away – father of a talented hockey player
2. Victory – father of a talented cricket player
3. Bend it like Beckham – father of a talented footballer

Casting Directors around the world seem to think there is some special ingredient in Anupam Kher’s gene pool that produces talented sportsman.

2. Who would you see playing an unmarried expecting woman?

Preity Zinta

1. Kya Kehna
2. Salam Namaste
3. Chori Chori Chupke Chupke (surrogate but still unmarried and expecting).

Is this a coded message to some secret Preity plans to unveil some day?

3. Who would you see playing a whore in a movie?

Kareena Kapoor

1. Chameli
2. Taalash
3. We are Family (To a wife the other woman is always a whore)
4. Heroin, Jab we Met, etc. (She didn’t directly portray one but she sure looked and acted like one)

4. Who would you see playing an older man in love with a younger woman?

Amitabh Bacchan 

1. Cheeni Kum
2. Nishabd.

Interesting in both movies the woman is around 30 years younger.

5. Who would you see playing that role where only the lead character matters and everyone else is just extra?

Ranbir Kapoor 

1. Baarfi
2. Rocket Singh
3. Wake Up Sid
4. Rockstar

6. Who would you see play “Vijay”?

This isn’t really a question. Amitabh Bacchan. The point of this question is this list:

1. Rann 2010 - Vijay Harshvardhan Malik
2. Gangotri 2007 - Thakur Vijay 'Thakur Kaka' Singh
3. Nishabd 2007 – Vijay
4. Ganga 2006 - Thakur Vijay Singh
5. Aankhen 2002 - Vijay Singh Rajput
6. Bond of Love 2001 - Vijay Kapoor
7. Akayla 1991 - Insp. Vijay Verma
8. Agneepath 1990 - Vijay Dinanath Chavan
9. Shahenshah 1988 - Vijay Kumar Srivastava/Shahenshah
10. Aakhree Raasta 1986 - Insp. Vijay Sandaliya/ David D'Costa
11. Shakti 1982 - Vijay A. Kumar
12. Shaan 1980 - Vijay Kumar
13. Dostana 1980 - Vijay Varma
14. Do Aur Do Paanch 1980 – Vijay
15. Kaala Patthar 1979 - Vijay Pal Singh
16. The Great Gambler 1979 - Dual Role (Jay & Insp. Vijay)
17. Trishul 1978 - Vijay Kumar
18. Don 1978 - Don / Vijay
19. Hera Pheri 1976 – Vijay
20. Deewaar 1975 - Vijay Verma
21. Roti Kapada Aur Makaan 1974 – Vijay
22. Zanjeer 1973 - Insp. Vijay Khanna

He started his career in 1969 and this is 2013, 44 years and 22 Vijays.
 

Stop. Don’t go there. You may be tempted to consider Rahul but let me stop you for two reasons. One is not a hero in my world and two his 8 Rahuls are no match for 1 Vijay let alone 22.

7. Who would play a mute?

Tusshar Kapoor (Didn't expect him to have a wiki link)

1. GolMaal: Fun Unlimited
2. GolMaal Returns
3. GolMaal 3
4. GolMaal 4

Christmas is here

Hello Santa Claus,

You must believe kids all over are evil, selfish and unkind, like my sister-in-law. They think of you only once a year around Christmas, like she does around her birthday. In all their letters to you, they will ask for gift that their parents find too expensive (or not worth the price and emotion) to buy for them, much like she asking her sister/my wife for those extravagant present my in-laws and my brother-in-law will refuse. And for some mysterious irrational reason you oblige, like my wife. I empathize.

Now that I am 31, all grown and matured, my letter to you is only going to ask you for things for you, nothing for me. I don’t think I want much for myself for Christmas this year.

1. Get into a different shape. Round is out, Triangle is in. You need to get rid of that enormous behind and that colossal beer belly. You don’t need a Stallone or a Schwarzenegger bulk, a Statham build is just perfect. Athletic bodies are in vogue not bulks. Besides, your round body sets a bad example for the kids. Kids get liberal with sugar and fatty food attempting to be like you. The clinicians down here are repulsively calling this condition obesity instead of something more huggable like Santa Clausiness.  A bulk will set an equally bad example, it will just say it is acceptable to use steroids or mash up a bulk using implants. Athletic will be immaculate.


2. Get fashionable. If you do decide to get into shape you will need a new wardrobe too. While you are at it you might as well change your appearance. Change those Gandhian round glasses to some slant rectangular Ray-Bans or Oakleys, replace the Mrs Clause stitched coat and pajama with leather from Burberry, hip trousers from Ralph Lauren and the likes. You could keep the beard and the color red, but don’t forget the cap, it must absolutely go.


3. Reindeers? Come on. I wonder why animal activists haven’t yet served you a subpoena. Your fat body structure and the under fed reindeers are just slowing you down. The rate of population burst has not been very good to you either. You need to get yourself the powerful of a V8 or a V12 pickup truck. It will drive you faster and more efficiently. Throw in some chains and fog lights; these will be far better than Rudolph’s red nose. The environment is not as clean as it used to be in the 50’s.

Well, I think I will ask you for one little thing for myself after all.

This year (and for every year) instead of you taking the trouble to come to my house, could you send one of your daughters? I did see her walking down the ramp for a Victoria Secret show.

Merry Christmas Mr Clause.
 
Merry Christmas Readers. 
 
Love AThoughtFactory

Three Secret Wishes

My three secret wishes (in order of hilarity and absurdity):

A Gay (as in LGBT) friend

Not to be deliberately interpret as me wishing to have a gay partner. I only wish to be a good friend to a gay who has a gay partner of his own. Why? Because I want to savor that moment of pride where I can tell my other friends that this friend is gay, tell them it is perfectly normal and I respect his choice of lifestyle. Being Gay, Indian and in the year 2013 could prompt interesting dialogues between friends.

If you are listed in my phone book then you now know I am going to be proud of you if and when you decide to go the gay way. It gets only better for me if you are married and then gay.  I would probably be the only one to support you but you can count it. I can help you convey this news to every one you may (or may not) want to tell.

So hurry up, I am eagerly waiting for that phone call. My moment of pride.

Burp a Song

You can sing a song, you can hum a song. I want to burp a song. Why? Because farting a song is going to be too difficult and stressful. If you think of about it, burping a song is nirvana at two levels – relieving and relaxing. I encourage you to attempt it yourself to reap the benefits.

A bullet between the eyes

My list of potential targets include those that are not in my phone book but are connected via Facebook and LinkedIn. I will give you a single strong reason after I shoot you. But knowing you, I am sure you will disagree and won’t listen to me. That itself will be my second perfectly good reason to shoot you between the eyes. Execution style.

Friends in my phone book are only safe until I turn 60. After that you are on this list too. Unless you decide you want to be Gay. Make your choice.

There is no Smart Phone

Do you own a smart phone today?

Well, you cannot own one because one does not exist. Not in my opinion and not according to my definition of a “smart phone”.

You could argue that iPhone or the Android variants are smart phone but I think of them more as Hobbit-ized Mackbooks and iPads. My definition for a smart phone is very different (I like to believe) and very smart (again something I like to believe).

My smart phone will definitely NOT have the following:

• No retina display of any size
• No Keypad or Touchpad
• No camera
• No MP3 player
• No Video player
• No Games
• No Apps – no App stores – I prefer these on the iPads

If the thought that I have gone crazy and don’t know what I am talking about has crossed your mind then I would say I have you right where I need you.

We don’t need a phone with all these features.

I would like to have a phone that is 2.3 x 4.1 x 8 inches and weighs 0.3 ounces. To put these dimensions into perspective use the following as a visual aid:

Yes my smart design coincides with those of a standard Bluetooth handset.

The one mission critical feature of my smart phone is Siri (from iPhone) or its Android equivalent.

Has this triggered your own imagination and an avalanche of ideas?

You will still need to hear my ideas. This is what i envision my smart phone will do is:

• Using voice commands you should be able to all the usual stuff: make calls, answer calls, set alarms/reminders, tell time, send messages, send emails, play voice mails, etc
• It should be able to inform and read out messages/emails to you – on demand
• It should be able to sync with your work calendar, remind you of appointments/meetings and change the status to “Do not disturb” when you get into one. You don’t want a distraction now.
• You should be able to set an emergency threshold. If you have a person calling you more than twice in succession and within a few minutes, the phone triggers it as an emergency alarm and alerts you. You decide if you still want to take the call
• Based on your motion it should be able to do some of the following:
• If you are moving at a speed that is equal to the average speed of a man/woman jogging or running and if the time is convenient – it should play some music from a Radio station. (With the advent of Spotify, Pandora and Rdio the demand for personally storing MP3 will diminish).
• If you are running at odd hours, you could just instruct it to tune it to a Radio station
• If you are moving at a speed that is equal to a moving car then it should turn off some of the distractions and enable features like GPS and traffic alerts
• It should be able to accept voice commands to set locations in the GPS and guide you to your destination
• It should be able to accept voice commands to help you find restaurants, attractions, pharmacies, gas stations etc
• It should provide you with location based services:
• If you are standing in your bank office, it should be ready to give your account number, balance, attached card numbers, expiry etc
• If you are standing in front of a movie theater it should be ready to give you reviews of the movie playing there. Or suggest on other nearby “similar” activities
• If you are sitting in a restaurant, it should be ready to give you information on the popular dishes
• If you are in the library it should be ready to either give you reviews of the books you are interested in or recommend the next book based on your previous readings

You may find the list of features more elaborate and may feel some of them already exist in some form on some devices; but let’s not lose focus here. I want to emphasize on the design of the smallest and yet the smartest of phones.

Would you call this a smart phone or you are happy with your iPhone and its variants.

Nursery Rhymes or Not to Nursery Rhymes

Having subjected myself to listening nursery rhymes so often for Stavya, I seem to have uncovered a pattern in most of the popular ones. I find them all to be running a thread of negative connotation.

To start with, consider Jack and Jill. The rhyme ends with Jack falling and breaking his crown and Jill tumbling after (though this version has been extended, I find it puzzling that you can mend your head with vinegar and brown paper). Why would they fall? 

The moral of this rhyme seems to be that if you embark on a rugged task metaphorically similar to climbing a hill you will fail. You will harm not just yourself but also the people with you and people supporting you.

I would prefer Jack and Jill to be something in this effect: Jack and Jill go up the hill to fetch a pail of water, but instead to their astonishment they find an oil well. They sell the oil in a controlled, monopolized market and become millionaires. This was how the Middle East oil wells were capitalized and the Sheikhs were discovered. Jack was actually Jalaluddin (pre-oil well stumble) and Sheikh Sultan Jalāl ad-Dīn Muhammad Mu'mina Khātūn (post-oil well stumble).

Contradicting to the original rhyme, my rhyme would teach the toddlers that embarking on rugged tasks could just have unexpected, unpredictable – something pleasant – outcomes. Work indifferently.

Three Blind Mice. Being blind is tragic enough and having the farmer’s wife cut off their tails with a carving knife for no apparent reason is horrific.

The mice probably didn’t know what they were doing wrong. In their defense they were blind. Instead the farmer’s wife should have built a small nest for them to eat in, rest in and feel safe in. In return to her kindness they would remain clean, healthy and respectful of their boundaries.

This will encourage the kids to be supportive of their less fortunate (health, wealth, mental and physical) peers. We should teach them to share what they have with the people who don’t.

Little Miss Muffet. Is this the reason why people have arachnophobia? This is singing to unexplained fear? Why couldn't Miss Muffet be courageous and fight the venomous spider or be courteous and share some of what she was eating and make a new friends that is “not like me”?

Hickory Dickory Dock. I find it similar to Miss Muffet. Fear of sound or suddenness or sudden change.

Rock-a bye Baby. When the wind blows the cradle will rock and if the bow breaks the cradle will fall. Why should the cradle fall with a slight blow of a wind? Didn’t daddy fasten the cradle well enough? Doesn’t daddy care enough?

Humpty Dumpty. In the original one, he falls and no one can put him together again. This is probably an idiom for death by an accident.

Its Raining, its Pouring. The old man hits his head and couldn't get up in the morning. This is another death idiom.

Miss Polly had a dolly. A song about a little girl falling sick and a doctor collecting his check. No mention of recovery? I can’t find anything positive in this.

I would vehemently disagree, if you say these are facts of life, the working on this world and it is important to impart these lessons to our children. This is not the age. This is the fairy tale phase of their lives and we shouldn't ruin it. There is no need to tell them, just yet, the truth about Santa Claus and Tooth Fairy.

Besides, if it wasn't was this entry would have thought of these rhymes in any different way other than being a few poetic lines, recited in pre-school and forgotten soon after?

Having thought of this subject, I checked Wikipedia on Nursery Rhymes and found this. It turns out most of my observations are right. Though speculations, there is one school of thought that believes there are hidden anti-authority meanings to these rhymes.

I feel there is a need to update these ancient rhymes to something fresh and current.

I almost liked the effort Super Simple Learning has put into Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and Little Snowflakes. But then I realized they are a little too full of a love story – a lonely boy suddenly meets a girl, has a few fun filled memorable moments and falls in love.

Unusual Titles

The other day, I was browsing through some of my old clicks and paused to look at this one:

© Copyright for this pictures belong to Atit Shah. Please email me for permissions.

This is a two year old picture that I shot using my Canon S2 IS. 

I looked at it and a famous movie quote from the move The Godfather crossed my mind “I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse”.

I would say this would be a very unusual title for this picture. If you think about it, marriage is indeed a type of an offer a man would make to a woman or a woman would make to man, explicitly or implicitly.

This drove me to work on this project, a project to create more of such picture, more of such unusual titles and all titles derived from famous movies quotes.

The Terminator: I'll be back.

© Copyright for this pictures belong to Atit Shah. Please email me for permissions.

Leave’s way of telling us to wait for the Spring.

Top Gun: I feel the need …the need for speed

© Copyright for this pictures belong to Atit Shah. Please email me for permissions.

Time (Clocks) has maintained a constant speed since its inception. I wonder if they ever feel the need for speed.

Apollo 13: Houston, we have a problem

© Copyright for this pictures belong to Atit Shah. Please email me for permissions.

When in trouble, man will bend his knee in front of the all mighty. 

Jerry Maguire: Show me the money

© Copyright for this pictures belong to Atit Shah. Please email me for permissions.

If you have ever stumbled upon or if you wish to stumble upon an ancient cryptic map, you would always wish it would lead you to some unfathomable wealth. What would you say when it delivers you to a large rock with ancient inscriptions deep into the thickest forest of the world?

From this point forward, I started Googling for movie quotes.

The Matrix: “This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill – the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill – you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.” 

© Copyright for this pictures belong to Atit Shah. Please email me for permissions.

The red pill here is referring to drinking alcohol and the blue pill is not consuming any. I do believe alcohol has powers to drive you through the wonderland, when consumed just enough to qualify.

American History X: One in every three black males is in some phase of the correctional system. Is that a coincidence or do these people have, you know, like a racial commitment to crime?

© Copyright for this pictures belong to Atit Shah. Please email me for permissions.

For the lack of better quote on racism. 

No matter the time or place, there always exists hatred for “not my people” at some level. We will always be prejudice to “our people”.

The different colored lights represent the different skin color, figuratively.

If you have similar ideas for a photograph and a famous movie quote for a title, send them to me and I will try to click and post them in continuation to this entry.