Having become a father, for 8 months now, I have this unnerving urge to impart my almost fictional wisdom to my son.
This entry is an amalgam of stereotypes the Media has created of all the people around the world, of hilarious quotes and a visual of a father sitting down his son and imparting what he believes to be their cultural and/or family maxim.
Arab: Have you ever seen a poor Arab? An Arab is almost a synonym to oil, wealth and harem. This is what I imagine an old Arab man preaching his son
“Yes, money can't buy happiness. But it's more comfortable to cry in a BMW than on a bicycle.” – Author unknown
American: If you ever overhear a conversation between any two Indian, a generation older than you, you would hear them gossip about people getting divorced and preferring burgers and pizzas to a nutritious home cooked meal of spices with an occasional vegetable. They would annotate this as “adopting the American Culture”. It must be true now that there is also a book on it the “Fast Food Nation”. A father would share the following two wisdoms with his son or his step son:
“Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.” – Jay Leno
And
“I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.” – Rodney Dangerfield
India: Once known for its spirituality and its plethora of ready to discover religious wisdom has traded itself to be the epicenter of software outsourcing. I can only imagine this from today’s father:
“Recession is when a neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours.” – Ronald Reagan
Mafia: Once referred to as Italians,
“Don't ask God for a bike, God doesn’t work that way. Go steal a bike and then ask for forgiveness.” - Emo Philips altered by Atit Shah
Russian: I don’t know much of Russia and its view of Homosexuality but this is the only really funny quote I could find
“Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.” – Yakov Smirnoff
Communism is not very funny.
Japanese: acclaimed for their high IQ, take great pride in having finally solved the chicken and egg problem. They proudly expound logic to their offspring:
“The chicken came first - God would look silly sitting on an egg.” – Author Unknown
And instill the sense of “wining” as opposed to being the “first”
“The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.“ – Author Unknown
Irish: For centuries they have been known for their uncouth habit of drinking and fighting:
“Drinking beer doesn’t make you fat, it makes you lean … Against bars, tables, chairs and poles.” – Author Unknown
Chinese: “God made everything that has life. And the rest is made in China.” – Author Unknown
Need I say more?
I once had to give up buying a trouser I really liked from GAP in Japan because it had the “Made in India” tag. I wonder how the Chinese feel. Do they ever buy souvenirs?
Jokes apart,
Thai: For a country where flesh trading is the only profitable industry and where a man is forced to become a woman to only crawl pass through the poverty line, a father with a heavy heart can only say:
“Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.” – Bill Maher
And an African who can never seems to see an end to his hardship:
"If you are going through hell, keep going." – Sir Winston Churchill
I would just leave my son with these words of encouragement:
“The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.” – Walter Bagehot
This entry is an amalgam of stereotypes the Media has created of all the people around the world, of hilarious quotes and a visual of a father sitting down his son and imparting what he believes to be their cultural and/or family maxim.
Arab: Have you ever seen a poor Arab? An Arab is almost a synonym to oil, wealth and harem. This is what I imagine an old Arab man preaching his son
“Yes, money can't buy happiness. But it's more comfortable to cry in a BMW than on a bicycle.” – Author unknown
American: If you ever overhear a conversation between any two Indian, a generation older than you, you would hear them gossip about people getting divorced and preferring burgers and pizzas to a nutritious home cooked meal of spices with an occasional vegetable. They would annotate this as “adopting the American Culture”. It must be true now that there is also a book on it the “Fast Food Nation”. A father would share the following two wisdoms with his son or his step son:
“Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.” – Jay Leno
And
“I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.” – Rodney Dangerfield
India: Once known for its spirituality and its plethora of ready to discover religious wisdom has traded itself to be the epicenter of software outsourcing. I can only imagine this from today’s father:
“Recession is when a neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours.” – Ronald Reagan
Mafia: Once referred to as Italians,
“Don't ask God for a bike, God doesn’t work that way. Go steal a bike and then ask for forgiveness.” - Emo Philips altered by Atit Shah
Russian: I don’t know much of Russia and its view of Homosexuality but this is the only really funny quote I could find
“Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.” – Yakov Smirnoff
Communism is not very funny.
Japanese: acclaimed for their high IQ, take great pride in having finally solved the chicken and egg problem. They proudly expound logic to their offspring:
“The chicken came first - God would look silly sitting on an egg.” – Author Unknown
And instill the sense of “wining” as opposed to being the “first”
“The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.“ – Author Unknown
Irish: For centuries they have been known for their uncouth habit of drinking and fighting:
“Drinking beer doesn’t make you fat, it makes you lean … Against bars, tables, chairs and poles.” – Author Unknown
Chinese: “God made everything that has life. And the rest is made in China.” – Author Unknown
Need I say more?
I once had to give up buying a trouser I really liked from GAP in Japan because it had the “Made in India” tag. I wonder how the Chinese feel. Do they ever buy souvenirs?
Jokes apart,
Thai: For a country where flesh trading is the only profitable industry and where a man is forced to become a woman to only crawl pass through the poverty line, a father with a heavy heart can only say:
“Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.” – Bill Maher
And an African who can never seems to see an end to his hardship:
"If you are going through hell, keep going." – Sir Winston Churchill
I would just leave my son with these words of encouragement:
“The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.” – Walter Bagehot
For Stavya.
