Holiday Bollywood Quiz

Note: I am not a diehard Bollywood fan but I will take the credit for having an acute power of observation.

1. Who would you see playing the father of a talented but discriminated or suppressed sports person in a sport themed movie? 

Anupam Kher

1. Breaking Away – father of a talented hockey player
2. Victory – father of a talented cricket player
3. Bend it like Beckham – father of a talented footballer

Casting Directors around the world seem to think there is some special ingredient in Anupam Kher’s gene pool that produces talented sportsman.

2. Who would you see playing an unmarried expecting woman?

Preity Zinta

1. Kya Kehna
2. Salam Namaste
3. Chori Chori Chupke Chupke (surrogate but still unmarried and expecting).

Is this a coded message to some secret Preity plans to unveil some day?

3. Who would you see playing a whore in a movie?

Kareena Kapoor

1. Chameli
2. Taalash
3. We are Family (To a wife the other woman is always a whore)
4. Heroin, Jab we Met, etc. (She didn’t directly portray one but she sure looked and acted like one)

4. Who would you see playing an older man in love with a younger woman?

Amitabh Bacchan 

1. Cheeni Kum
2. Nishabd.

Interesting in both movies the woman is around 30 years younger.

5. Who would you see playing that role where only the lead character matters and everyone else is just extra?

Ranbir Kapoor 

1. Baarfi
2. Rocket Singh
3. Wake Up Sid
4. Rockstar

6. Who would you see play “Vijay”?

This isn’t really a question. Amitabh Bacchan. The point of this question is this list:

1. Rann 2010 - Vijay Harshvardhan Malik
2. Gangotri 2007 - Thakur Vijay 'Thakur Kaka' Singh
3. Nishabd 2007 – Vijay
4. Ganga 2006 - Thakur Vijay Singh
5. Aankhen 2002 - Vijay Singh Rajput
6. Bond of Love 2001 - Vijay Kapoor
7. Akayla 1991 - Insp. Vijay Verma
8. Agneepath 1990 - Vijay Dinanath Chavan
9. Shahenshah 1988 - Vijay Kumar Srivastava/Shahenshah
10. Aakhree Raasta 1986 - Insp. Vijay Sandaliya/ David D'Costa
11. Shakti 1982 - Vijay A. Kumar
12. Shaan 1980 - Vijay Kumar
13. Dostana 1980 - Vijay Varma
14. Do Aur Do Paanch 1980 – Vijay
15. Kaala Patthar 1979 - Vijay Pal Singh
16. The Great Gambler 1979 - Dual Role (Jay & Insp. Vijay)
17. Trishul 1978 - Vijay Kumar
18. Don 1978 - Don / Vijay
19. Hera Pheri 1976 – Vijay
20. Deewaar 1975 - Vijay Verma
21. Roti Kapada Aur Makaan 1974 – Vijay
22. Zanjeer 1973 - Insp. Vijay Khanna

He started his career in 1969 and this is 2013, 44 years and 22 Vijays.
 

Stop. Don’t go there. You may be tempted to consider Rahul but let me stop you for two reasons. One is not a hero in my world and two his 8 Rahuls are no match for 1 Vijay let alone 22.

7. Who would play a mute?

Tusshar Kapoor (Didn't expect him to have a wiki link)

1. GolMaal: Fun Unlimited
2. GolMaal Returns
3. GolMaal 3
4. GolMaal 4

Christmas is here

Hello Santa Claus,

You must believe kids all over are evil, selfish and unkind, like my sister-in-law. They think of you only once a year around Christmas, like she does around her birthday. In all their letters to you, they will ask for gift that their parents find too expensive (or not worth the price and emotion) to buy for them, much like she asking her sister/my wife for those extravagant present my in-laws and my brother-in-law will refuse. And for some mysterious irrational reason you oblige, like my wife. I empathize.

Now that I am 31, all grown and matured, my letter to you is only going to ask you for things for you, nothing for me. I don’t think I want much for myself for Christmas this year.

1. Get into a different shape. Round is out, Triangle is in. You need to get rid of that enormous behind and that colossal beer belly. You don’t need a Stallone or a Schwarzenegger bulk, a Statham build is just perfect. Athletic bodies are in vogue not bulks. Besides, your round body sets a bad example for the kids. Kids get liberal with sugar and fatty food attempting to be like you. The clinicians down here are repulsively calling this condition obesity instead of something more huggable like Santa Clausiness.  A bulk will set an equally bad example, it will just say it is acceptable to use steroids or mash up a bulk using implants. Athletic will be immaculate.


2. Get fashionable. If you do decide to get into shape you will need a new wardrobe too. While you are at it you might as well change your appearance. Change those Gandhian round glasses to some slant rectangular Ray-Bans or Oakleys, replace the Mrs Clause stitched coat and pajama with leather from Burberry, hip trousers from Ralph Lauren and the likes. You could keep the beard and the color red, but don’t forget the cap, it must absolutely go.


3. Reindeers? Come on. I wonder why animal activists haven’t yet served you a subpoena. Your fat body structure and the under fed reindeers are just slowing you down. The rate of population burst has not been very good to you either. You need to get yourself the powerful of a V8 or a V12 pickup truck. It will drive you faster and more efficiently. Throw in some chains and fog lights; these will be far better than Rudolph’s red nose. The environment is not as clean as it used to be in the 50’s.

Well, I think I will ask you for one little thing for myself after all.

This year (and for every year) instead of you taking the trouble to come to my house, could you send one of your daughters? I did see her walking down the ramp for a Victoria Secret show.

Merry Christmas Mr Clause.
 
Merry Christmas Readers. 
 
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