A Thomas Crown Affair

I can faintly recollect writing on essay topics like “What would you do if you had a million Rupees” or “What would you do if you were the President of your country” from my days as an undergraduate. Now, what I really desire is to write and execute “What would you do if you could steal without being caught?”

You could commit a single crime of robbing a bank and then use the money to legally buying things you desire but then where is the fun in that. What I want more is to live a day in the life of Thomas Crown. Thomas Crown is the fictional billionaire from the movie “Thomas Crown Affair” who has the money but is too bored of buying and opts to venture into stealing for the thrill of it. I really wish to experience the Thomas Crown affair but without the amorous escapades.

If I can prevent myself from being caught in the legal web, I would like to steal two stores. One is the Apple Store and the other is a Book Store.

My 13-inch Macbook and 30GB IPod have not had new friends since the last 4 years. I would like them to be in the company of:

1. iPhone 4 (5 if the rumors are true)
2. iPad 2 with 3G and Wifi
3. 27-inch iMac
4. 13-inch Macbook Air

In India, I would raid the iStore by Reliance Digital because I just despise Reliance’s might. In US, I would raid any of Apple stores in the state of California because of their high tax rate. I would not want to miss the opportunity to pinch the Government along the way.

I often contemplate stealing all the works of a particular author as I browse through the aisles of a bookstore. A succinct list of these authors is:

1. Greg Iles – have been totally consumed when reading three of his books and have great expectations from the remaining
2. Michael Crichton – have watched most of the movies based on his books and since I am stealing I might as well grab and read them all
3. PG Woodhouse – his work employs a little archaic English but they are still a pleasurable read
4. Autobiographies of Lance Armstrong, Andre Agassi,  Steve Jobs and Richard Stallman (if and when one is released)
5. Biographies – Che Guvera (I would leave behind The Motorcycle Diaries), Adolf Hitler, Steve Jobs and Apple  
6. Ann Rand – have not read her yet because of the phobia of not being able to understand her philosophy
7. The Unrelated Adams – Douglas and Scott – like the humor they draw
8. Edward de Bono – like his work but find him painful on the pocket
9. Arthur Hailey – the first 300 pages introduces the characters and the remaining 200 pages actually tell the interesting story. It’s the climax and the unexpected twists that compels one to read
10. Khushwant Singh – should have an Indian on the list

I will love to camouflage my dislike for a few books I own as an act of charity by leaving/donating the following books to the bookstore I steal:

1. A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson – have never had the desire to sin by burning a book before
2. Zen and the Art of Motor Cycle Maintenance by Robert Pirsig – only the book title is fascinating
3. Conversation with God by Neale Donald Walsch – have tried to read it thrice without going beyond page 30
4. I am OK You are OK by Thomas A Harris – did he think if the readers would be OK?
5. The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro – suddenly the dull dark gloomy day looked brighter

What would you steal if you could walk free from a robbery?